You might be frustrated by family members who are in denial about your older adult’s declining health and increasing care needs.
Below we explain why someone might be in denial and share techniques to help you convince family members that your older adult has a serious health condition and needs caregiving help.
Why Would Someone Be In Denial?
Denial is a defense mechanism, a strategy “that people use to cope with distressing feelings.”
It is difficult for some to come to the realization that their aging loved-one isn’t able to care for themselves any longer. It’s safe and comfortable to pretend that everything is fine and nothing is changing.
For some, denial is a subconscious way to ignore the fact that their parent or spouse is declining. For others, it’s a way to avoid taking on caregiving responsibilities.
3 Ways To Deal With Family In Denial
1. Stay calm
Family in denial about seniors needing help can be frustrating. Even if you really don’t want to bite your tongue, it helps to stay calm and be the bigger person.
Do your best to be kind and understanding when speaking with someone in denial.
Showing your frustration will only make them dig their heels in deeper or feel justified in resisting your reasoning.
2. Share educational information
Sometimes denial comes from not fully understanding the situation.
Share educational information that explains your older adult’s condition, typical symptoms, and the type of care they’ll most likely need.
For example, your brother may have no idea how Alzheimer’s or dementia affect people besides the stereotypical memory loss or confusion.
So, he takes mom’s side when she insists that she’s still perfectly capable of driving her car.
Rather than arguing, show him the doctor’s report stating that mom should no longer drive because of her advancing Alzheimer’s.
And, point the family member to trusted sources of information regarding your loved-ones disease or illness.
3. Meet together with an expert
Some family members may not believe you, but might listen to an impartial expert.
Offer to go together to talk with the doctor about your older adult’s health and care needs.
Or, ask an impartial person like a geriatric care manager, elder mediator, or spiritual leader to attend a family meeting and facilitate an open discussion.
Content provided by: Verywellmind.com and DailyCaring.com
